There's no question that body language is important.
And according to Leil Lowndes in her book "How To Talk
To Anyone," you can capture — and hold — anyone's attention without saying
a word.
We've selected the best body-language techniques from the
book and shared them below.
The Flooding Smile
"Don't flash an immediate smile when you greet
someone," says Lowndes. If you do, it appears as if anyone in your line of
sight would receive that same smile.
Instead, pause and look at the other person's face for a
second, and then let a "big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face
and overflow into your eyes."
Even though the delay is less than a second, it will
convince people your smile is sincere and personalized for them. According to
Lowndes, a slower smile can add more richness and depth to how people perceive
you.
Sticky Eyes
"Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation
partner's with sticky warm taffy," Lowndes advises. Even after they've
finished speaking, don't break eye contact. "When you must look away, do
it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey taffy until the tiny
string finally breaks."
You can also try counting your conversation partner's
blinks. In a case study, subjects reported significantly higher feelings of
respect and fondness for their colleagues who used this technique.
Epoxy Eyes
In a group of people, you should occasionally look at the
person you are interested in, no matter who else is talking. If your attention
is drawn to that person even when they are simply listening, you show that you
are extremely interested in his or her reactions.
Be warned — using full Epoxy Eyes can be a bit overwhelming
to the subject and could leave them feeling uncomfortable. You should primarily
watch the speaker, but allow your glance to bounce to your target when the
speaker finishes interesting points.
The Big-Baby Pivot
People are very conscious of how you react to them. When you
meet someone new, turn your body fully toward them and give them the same,
undivided attention you would give a baby. Lowndes says, "Pivoting 100%
toward the new person shouts, 'I think you are very, very special.'"
Limit The Fidget
If you want to appear credible, try not to move too much
when your conversation really matters. "Do not fidget, twitch, wiggle,
squirm, or scratch," Lowndes says. Frequent hand motions near your face
can give your listener the feeling that you're lying or anxious. Instead,
simply fix a constant gaze on the listener and show them that you're fully
concentrated on the matter at hand.
Hang By Your Teeth
This visualization trick will help you look more confident
with your posture, which Lowndes describes as "your biggest success
barometer." To do this, visualize a leather bit hanging from the frame of
every door you walk through. Pretend that you are taking a bite on the dental
grip, and let it sweep your cheeks into a smile and lift you up.
"When you hang by your teeth," Lowndes says,
"every muscle is stretched into perfect posture position." Your head
will be held high, shoulders back, torso out of your hips, and feet weightless.
This trick also works because of the frequency people walk
through doorways. If you visualize anything often enough, it becomes a habit.
"Habitual good posture is the first mark of a big winner."
Hello, Old Friend
When you first meet someone, imagine they're your old
friend. According to Lowndes, this will cause a lot of subconscious reactions
in your body, from the softening of your eyebrows to the positioning of your
toes.
An added benefit to this technique is that when you act as
though you like someone, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy — you might
really start to like them. Lowndes says, "What it boils down to is love
begets love, like begets like, respect begets respect."
